Words of wisdom brought to you by Spaceman Spiff.
You know how Einstein got bad grades as a kid? Well, mine are even worse!
The proof that there is an intelligent species in space is that they haven’t tried to contact us.
Learning a bicycle works on the same principle as electroshock therapy. That’s why you never forget, once you learn how to ride it.
Gravity is arbitrary.
It says a child witnesses one million murders on TV by the time he is six. I have been watching all the wrong channels.
It says you have to be above eighteen to smoke. Eighteen?!? By that time I will know better.
Trusting your parents can be hazardous to health.
As you can see, I’ve memorized this utterly useless fact long enough to pass a test question. I now intend to forget forever. You’ve taught me nothing except how to cynically manipulate the system. Congratulations.
I realized that the purpose of writing is to inflate weak idea, obscure poor reasoning and inhibit clarity. With a little practice writing can be an intimidating fog!
The proof that there is an intelligent species in space is that they haven’t tried to contact us.
Learning a bicycle works on the same principle as electroshock therapy. That’s why you never forget, once you learn how to ride it.
Gravity is arbitrary.
It says a child witnesses one million murders on TV by the time he is six. I have been watching all the wrong channels.
It says you have to be above eighteen to smoke. Eighteen?!? By that time I will know better.
Trusting your parents can be hazardous to health.
As you can see, I’ve memorized this utterly useless fact long enough to pass a test question. I now intend to forget forever. You’ve taught me nothing except how to cynically manipulate the system. Congratulations.
I realized that the purpose of writing is to inflate weak idea, obscure poor reasoning and inhibit clarity. With a little practice writing can be an intimidating fog!
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